New Arrivals for Fall 2014

We have been actively working on new designs and are excited to introduce them in time for the Christmas season.

One of my absolute new favorites is the new expandable bangle bracelet.  They are made of sterling silver and can easily be added to when there are new arrivals in your family.  You can choose from sterling silver, rose gold, or yellow gold discs and any color birthstone.

We also have this SUPER cute 14K gold filled bracelet that is perfect for layering.  It can be customized with a name or keep it simple with the arrow.

We have also started adding our new Christmas ornaments to the shop.  We still have a few more to go, but I wanted to give a preview of what is available now.  These ornaments are made from a lightweight aluminum and hang perfectly from any size Christmas tree.  I can't wait to make myself one after I know the stats of my new arrival!

We are still adding new items to the shop lately to prepare for the Christmas season.  You can find everything in our etsy shop HERE.

...OH...and ONE more thing that we are working on!!!!  We are hoping to go live with our brand NEW website on October 1st, so be sure to keep checking back with us!

The Red Tractor Nursery

After we lost Sawyer, I never planned to change his bedroom.  It would be a baby nursery shrine and I didn't really want anyone in there touching anything since it was ready for Sawyer to come home and sleep.  However, after a few months of being pregnant again, I felt the exact opposite.  I had to change everything.  The room had off white walls and a zoo theme.  I needed a change.  I needed to remember that this baby was a different baby and needed his own room and own decor.  I moved the furniture, decided on a new theme, and got to work painting walls.

I become quickly engulfed with his new red tractor nursery theme.  My husband works at Equipment Technologies, which produces shiny red tractor sprayers.  Therefore, the tractors had to be red- no John Deere Green in this house.

I really love the way it turned out.

I'm waiting for Mark to raise the crib bed this weekend- we used it with Delaney so it was dropped.  The adorable decal is from New Wave Signs from etsy.  My sweet sister-in-law sent us this super soft blanket with his name stitched on it and I can't wait to wrap him up in it.  I'm sorry the rug is wrinkled and off centered and YES I will get outlet covers before I put a baby in there.

The book shelves are spice racks from IKEA (Thank you, Pinterest).  At $3.99 each, we couldn't build shelves for cheaper.  I slapped a coat of red acrylic paint on them and hung them up.  I found the tractor blueprint on zulily and it is my favorite piece in the room.

I used this blanket as my color inspiration- I wanted all of the colors in the blanket to be present in the room.  It is super soft and really well made.  I found it on etsy from First Crush Designs.

The upholstery on my old garage sale glider was pretty beat up, so rather than repairing it, I bought a new blanket and pillow.  I NEEDED the pillow because of the red tractor.  It is also from etsy, of course- the shop is Polka Dot Apple, and she has a ton of super cute designs.

Mark brought this home from work, since it was difficult for me to find tractor "sprayer" toys and decals.  Not everyone wants a pesticide spraying machine sticker on their baby's walls, but I love incorporating what Mark does into the baby's room.

And now...all I need is a baby and the room will be complete.  We have three weeks and counting and I am definitely counting...

Pregnancy after Stillbirth...

I have kind of been keeping a secret from my facebook friends.  I'm pregnant.  YAY!...

Except pregnancy after stillbirth is scary.  It's terrifying actually.

I am envious of pregnant women I see that are blissfully having themed baby showers and sharing ultrasound pics and having gender reveal parties with pink or blue cake pops.  That's not my pregnancy life anymore.

This pregnancy comes after the loss of our stillbirth son at 37 weeks back in October.  Although I was excited, I knew that I didn't want anyone to know.  The horrible pessimist in me just assumed I would lose this baby too, so there was no use getting excited about it.

My first three ultrasounds resulted in uncontrollable tears even though they were telling us, "everything looks great!".  I'm sure the ultrasound techs assumed it was an unwanted pregnancy because of the crying, when in fact it was just the opposite.  We decided to see our doctor at her other office so that it didn't bring back so many tough memories.

I am almost 28 weeks now.  We will be delivering our baby BOY in just nine short weeks.  It is amazing how God has helped me through the last few months.  When we first found out, I decided there would be no planning- I told my family "no new clothes, no new toys, NOTHING...until the baby arrives."  I didn't want to come home to another finished nursery and full closet with no baby to hold.  I really didn't even want to talk about it with anyone.  I was so happy, but SO scared.

But God has softened my heart and eased my anxiety.  The more attached I get to this little boy kicking my belly, the more excited I am for his arrival.  I have become somewhat obsessed with decorating his red tractor bedroom and actually took maternity pictures.  (That was a huge regret with Sawyer- we never took maternity pictures and I don't really have any to look back on).  We have a name picked out and have started talking about this little baby with others, which was really difficult to do for months.

I still have moments- if I don't feel him move in a ten minute time frame, all hell breaks loose.  I get completely panicked.  We have made three or four trips to the emergency room and a couple unplanned trips to the doctors office because of fears.  I wake up throughout the night just to make sure I can feel him moving.  

And I still grieve for Sawyer.  I know the next few months will be extremely joyous, but extremely difficult also.  I can't wait to hold my new baby boy, but I still miss his older brother.  

One of the reasons I did decide to share our news is because I would really, really covet your prayers.  We need them.  We need prayers for anxiety and prayers for this baby boy.  Please, please pray that God would give us a little boy to hold and love in September and to bring home to take care of and nurture.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Matthew 18:20

When the Sun Shines after a Storm

I love the seasons.  Mark and I lived in Hawaii for a few years when we were first married.  And although I understand it is paradise, I still missed the changing of the seasons and longed to be back home again in Indiana. 

 I had a sweet woman from my church ask me recently how we were doing with our loss.  She said, "I hate that it happened in the fall because then you had to deal with the most depressing months of the winter right after that."

I explained to her that I actually felt the opposite.  The seasons and the weather matched my mood.  After Sawyer's death, the weather turned cold and icy.  It gave me time to grieve and not feel like I had to smile because it was sunny and gorgeous outside.  The outside matched my own insides- cold, dark, and sad.  I had extreme grief and needed those dark months to work through it.

 It has been seven months and the sun is out again.  The snow has melted and the salt has been cleaned off of the streets.  The weather is warming up and the flowers have bloomed.

New life has begun again.  

I am enjoying the warmth and the sunshine and the flowers.  

Although there is an occasional rainy day or even a passing storm, where my heart is breaking and hurting, the sun always comes back out again.

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

New Pieces in our Shop

In the last few months we have had a chance to design new pieces!  We have added a lot to the shop and I wanted to share them to make sure you weren't missing out.  

My sister designed these gorgeous "chalkboard" style fine silver necklaces.  

I absolutely love the way they turned out.

You can find them here.

We have also added a great alternative to sterling silver in our shop.  Pewter has the thickness and feel of fine silver, but is much more affordable.  The elephant necklace starts at $26!

You can find them here.

And finally, a more simple piece.  It is basic, but perfect for the grandma with tons of grandkids- 

a birthstone for everyone.  

You can find it here.

The daddy daughter dance

A few weeks ago, I called Mark and asked him if he wanted to take Delaney to a daddy-daughter dance.  

Mark: (sigh) (long pause) "I guess"

Me: "Great! 'Cause I already signed you up and paid for it!"

Delaney had been given a gorgeous glitter dress from her great grandma the day before, and she was dying to get to wear it outside of the house, so was super excited about the dance.

Yes, I let my 3 year-old daughter put on my 24 hour lipstick.  By herself.  She still had it on two days later after multiple washings- that stuff is good.  And she might be putting it on her tongue in that picture.

She requested an "Elsa" braid (from Frozen if you live in a non-child cave).  I think I rocked it, although Mark said it had completely fallen out after a few moves on the dance floor and she was a sweaty mess with no braid when she arrived home.

Excuse me, miss, but you have some lipstick on your teeth.

This girl loves her daddy.  They got home well past her bedtime, complete with a neon glow necklace and a pink balloon animal.  I think that equals success.  They both said they had a great time and will be going again next year:)

Be still my heart.

InstaFriday

I'm linking up with Life Rearranged to share the story behind some instagram pics today.  It has been a while since I shared photos, but hopefully I will be sharing more in the next few months.

 Delaney was able to go to the Barnum and Bailey circus in December.  Her favorite part of the circus was probably the giant snowcone in the elephant cup that cost too much money.  She was also slightly obsessed with the "purple" clown.  I realize she is more pink, but she gets her colors confused.

Our baby boy was "born still" October 10th- I will be honest- I don't like that phrase.  Something about it, I don't know, I just don't like it.  Maybe I feel like it is sugar coating the reality of the situation.  

Anyway, right after Sawyer died, we knew we wanted to get tattoos.  Luckily, we decided to get them the night of the circus, so Delaney had her own tattoo to share, which says "the greatest SHOW on EARTH".  

We wanted "I will go to him", which is part of 

2 Samuel 12:23, which describes how David feels after his new baby dies.  

"But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."  

It is just a reminder that our baby WILL be in heaven and we will see him again.  

The tattoo artist couldn't fit "I will go to him" on my arm, since I didn't want it taking up the entire arm.  So, I just went with his name and eventually, I will probably put the verse on my other arm.  On a lighter note, the tattoo artist's name was Boner.  When I texted my mom in a panic right before it was my turn, the conversation went like this 

"mom...Mark is getting his done now.  I'm next.  The guy's name is Boner, so..."  

"...Well, Woody from Toy Story has a questionable name and he seems like a nice guy, so don't be too quick to judge."

That definitely helped my nerves and the tears that accompanied them.

Delaney had some much needed cousin time when her Hawaiian cousins came to visit over Christmas.  Mark's brother and wife live in Hawaii, so we don't get to see them very often.  They had an absolute blast, including a movie night.  They lasted at least 30 minutes before they were ready to get up and play...

AND we live in Indiana, so we dealt with THIS last week.  This was the beautiful day of 12" of snow when we were able to play and sled.  The next day, the temperature dropped to -14 or so...we didn't leave the house for a few days.  I then developed cabin fever, and almost died from it.

Mark and I celebrated our 10th anniversary a few weeks ago!  I was married at 19, but it was more
common back then...oh wait, no it wasn't. at all.  We've moved five times, dealt with a deployment to Afghanistan, both graduated from college, held multiple jobs, suffered a miscarriage, gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL baby girl, and are currently dealing with the death of our stillborn baby boy.  We've had a lot happen in ten years,  but we look the exact same as we did in the picture...just humor me.

I can't get over the beauty of this picture.  Delaney was wearing her hot pink Mardi Gras style glitter mask and was playing with my phone.  I found this photo today- she somehow put on a black and white filter and snapped this selfie. Even though her eyes are black, there is something about it that I love.

A Christmas cow and a Public Service Announcement

Well, the holidays are over, my tree is down, and the fake pine needles have been vacuumed off the floor.  This was the toughest Christmas I have ever experienced.  After Sawyer died in October, I wasn't really sure if I wanted to put up a tree or buy any presents.  However, when the time came, I found that I was still able to decorate and get ready for Christmas.  I wanted it to be fun for Delaney.  I absolutely love the Christmas season and I wanted her to see the joy in celebrating Jesus.

Towards the beginning of December, we received a letter that really helped me keep our Christmas in perspective after such a tragic time.  Mark and I signed up to sponsor a child through Compassion International early last year.  I chose to sponsor a little boy who had been waiting the longest, named Ishimwe.  I write letters to him, although with the busyness of life, I don't write as many as I would like to.

After everything that happened with Sawyer, I was not exactly in the Christmas spirit.  However, I knew I needed to send Ishimwe a gift for Christmas.  The gifts have to be monetary, so I talked to Mark about it, and we sent a gift for the amount that we would have spent on Christmas gifts for Sawyer.  I will be honest- it wasn't what I considered a lot of money.  I don't spend a LOT of money on Delaney for Christmas.  I think I bought her 5 or 6 new toys and I bought them on sale, mostly with Kohl's cash.

 In mid-December, I was having a really rough day.  I had cried a lot that day.  Mark walked in from work with the mail and I saw that I had a letter from Compassion International.  I opened it to find a letter from Ishimwe and a photo.  I looked at the picture without really studying it and began reading the letter.  I read through it somewhat quickly.  He is 10, but his letters are always written by an adult and translated by another adult.  Therefore, sometimes I feel like they are a little "detached" -it is evident that an adult is sitting next to him asking him questions so that he can "write" a letter to me and often the translation is a little rough.
Mark was reading over my shoulder and when we got to the end of the letter, I gasped and Mark said, "HE BOUGHT A COW!" and I was immediately crying, but different tears.  The end of the letter stated: "[he] is so thankful for you for the gift you sent to him of recent...which was used for buying a male calf with for rearing.  May God bless you so much."

I don't know what I expected him to buy with the money.  He is from Rwanda.  I knew it wouldn't be a Transformer or a Skylander, but I thought maybe a soccer ball, a book, and new pair of shoes.  Or maybe Compassion International would have some "toys" that they could buy with their money or something.  That is how American I am.  But, no.  He bought a cow.  This sweet 10 year-old boy didn't buy a new video game for his XBOX or a new pair of Nikes.  He bought a cow.  I am sure it was a family decision.  He might not have not wanted to buy a cow with his Christmas money, but after looking at the picture a second time, I could see the joy that the cow brought for him.

The child on the left is Ishimwe.  I suspect it is his sister in the middle and his mother on the right, although I cannot be certain.  and the cow.  This 10 year-old's Christmas gift with the money that I really didn't think would go very far.

I don't write this to say look what we did for him.  I just wanted to share that during a day that I was broken, God gave me encouragement through this child I have never met.  Now it is time for the public service announcement.  I know there a lot of times where you just don't have an extra $38 a month.  I get that.  I try to think of ways that I can cut that money out of my own budget to help support Ishimwe and his family.  It is about the cost of two new sweaters (on sale) a month, one pair of jeans, two family meals at Chipotle, or one meal at Outback.  It is the price of one date night at a movie theatre with concessions.  A little bit of money can go a long way in countries like Rwanda.  If you are interested, Compassion International is a great, faith based organization and it is so easy to sign up.

Christmas was still hard.  But thinking of this photo of this little boy and his Christmas gift helped bring me joy when I was hurting.  I think whenever I buy Delaney any gifts, I will always be reminded of a child who bought a cow for his family with his Christmas money.